Thursday, March 13, 2008

Matang Dah!

Another day, another year. Last year, I officially surpassed the universal definition of a youth. This year, I officially enter the territory of people too old to be wanted by the government. So, I guess that regardless of what I may think, I have to admit that I am old. At the very least, I am no longer young. Some may wonder why I try to cling on to youth as much as I do. The answer is very simple, I have not had much of one.

As I was growing up, I was in a rush. While my parents were protective and tried to let me enjoy my childhood as much as possible, I was too strong and rebellious for them to contain. While others partied on weekends, I worked. While school holidays meant more time for fun for my peers, they meant more time for me to dedicate to work. In the end, I traded my childhood for independence. I do not regret any of this, as I did force my way through to it.

As I entered university, things did not change much. While my friends were busy working hard and enjoying life and some independence, my focus was elsewhere. I was once again, trying to do even more than before. At one point, things almost ruined me, but I never let anyone know of it at the time. I had to learn many bitter lessons and am grateful for it. The price of the tuition, was much of my youth. Again, I do not regret it, as I had jumped in with both feet.

But sometimes, I do wonder how things might have been like. These days, I take a very different outlook in life. I deliberately decided to take things at a different speed and to take some time to smell the roses. I sometimes see some friends, who are trying their best to rush into the future. I try advising them against it sometimes, but they don't normally listen. For some things, there is no need to rush headlong into meeting them. They will come naturally, with time.

I have come to realise that there is more to life than I had thought and some of these things need to be savoured slowly. While sounding like this, it's no wonder that I feel old. I sound old and I am old! Hate to admit it, but admit it I shall. I am no longer young. It's time to let go of my youth and move on. Yeay!

PS: My friend just told me: "I think the word for that is 'mature', Shawn". Matang dah!

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