Love is...

A friend of mine told me, today, that it is difficult to differentiate love and a crush and it is therefore difficult to get involved in a 'relationship'. So, I thought that I'd give my friend some advice based on my limited experiences. Personally, I do not believe in the notion of "love at first sight". That's just the kind of stuff that they write about in romance novels to confuse people and sell books. Love needs time to develop.

According to wikipedia (wow, they've got a definition for everything): Love is a basic dimension of human experience that is variously conveyed as a sense of tender affection, an intense attraction, the foundation of intimacy and good interpersonal chemistry, willing self-sacrifice on behalf of another, and as an ineffable sense of affinity or connection to nature, other living beings, or even that which is unseen.

Well, according to the criteria listed above, I was certainly in love and was involved in a loving relationship with another individual. However, these criteria only scratch the surface. Love often starts of with attraction (possibly at first sight) but can only mature after a serious relationship. I've come to realise that it's not the nice and beautiful things that make you love a person but the little, sometimes nasty, quirks that do. This may sound weird to someone who's never experienced it before. However, it is true. You love someone not for their charm, intelligence or beauty but in spite of all their faults. Actually, you love them for it.

There is no clear cut-off that defines love. One day, it will just hit you without any warning. When you're in love, you will know it simply by the profound bliss and painful anguish that you will experience. Yes, love will certainly hurt (and I'm not talking about the pain that accompanies a break-up). With intense emotions in play, it's inevitable. If you belief in balance, it just means that you'll need one to appreciate the other (endorphins are natural pain-killers). If you have never been cut deeply by love, you have simply not been in love. Although, some people avoid love simply because they fear getting hurt, I don't think that is right.

So, how do you differentiate love and a crush? Why bother? Just take the plunge and find out for yourself!

"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" --- Tennyson.

PS. This has been a good rant. Don't think that I'm an old man yah!