Secondhand Daylight

WARNING: Random incoherent blog ahead!

Secondhand Daylight. That's the title of the 13th chapter of William Gibson's book, All Tomorrow's Parties. This is my first encounter with Gibson and it's been good so far. I wish I could say that for all my other encounters. For some reason, I like the phrase, which kindles something within me.

The phrase, Secondhand Daylight, is just so sad. Daylight is generally related to positive things, such as hope and clarity. But, when it's not experienced first hand, it's just sad. Everyone is entitled to a second chance, and a new hope. But sometimes, some people are just not lucky enough to get it.

I was supposed to mark the reports today. All 22 of them are currently sitting right next to me, on my desk. The pile is only about a foot high. I woke up this morning at around 9am, planning to grade the reports for the rest of the day. But, I did not wake up with a good mood. I am a fairly moody person, which most of my friends have figured out by now. Since I would be unable to concentrate on any serious work, I ended up having an early lunch, and the getting myself to sleep the day off. I also started on this Gibson.

I was planning on having a last minute barbeque today. Seeing that the weather today was excellent for just such an event. I was planning to just get some stuff and then MSN people to come to my place for a BBQ. However, as my mood wasn't good, I decided against it instead. I'm really not in a mood to entertain people at the moment. Hopefully, the weather will hold up for the rest of the week. Then, I can have a nice BBQ with all my friends before they leave for the summer. This is also the last summer that I'll be living in my current place, which backs the fellows' garden and has the BBQ pit.

It is now past 8pm and at this moment, the sun is only beginning to set. We're in summer time now, and the sun is up in the sky for most of the day. I'm looking forward to the quiet summer months, when I can just lock myself up in my room and work in the dark. The only times that I do leave my room is to go out to restock my food supply. Otherwise, I can just sit and stare at my computer for every waking minute, tapping away at the keyboard. If I lock myself in the dark, my body doesn't know whether it's day or night. So, I can work until I'm exhausted, rest, and then work some more. I can usually keep this up for several months.

What is the book about? I have yet to finish it. If it continue reading it, I should be able to finish it by tonight. But I'm just moody today. I can't even read a good book properly. But being moody is good. At least I'll know that I'm alive. Why am I so moody? There isn't anyone that I can unload on, that's why. So, when I hit a low, I just mood along until it passes. Life is like a roller coaster, there are always ups and downs. Today, it's down. Hopefully, tomorrow will bring me into daylight.