Monday, January 22, 2007

Do men need women?


The article cites US census data, which show that the majority of American women are unmarried. This was greeted with celebration by feminist extremists. The general concensus being that most men do not measure up and are no longer needed or wanted. Since most women today have careers, men's traditional contribution (financial support) has become largely irrelevant. And since men do not contribute much more than that, we're now redundant.

Then, the article goes to point out several facts that contradict that commonly held belief. I do have to agree with it's main point though. That is, women today, have more power than before. Hence, they're more critical of their men and have higher expectations than before. I've come across quite a few friends here whom have expressed, their fairly high expectations of men. However, perfection does not exist. So, I can only wish them well and hope that they discover that on their own. Anyway, back to the article.

The most common charge being leveled at men is that they don't hold up their end of the house work. The argument being that women work as well, and then also do most of the house work and child care. Men contribute a lot to their family, at least as much as women do. According to the statistics, men spend 1.5 times as many hours working as women do. Men's total time at leasure, sleeping, socialising and personal time is a statistically meaningless 1% higher than women's. And the worst bit is, although men and women both work and have money, fathers provide 75% child care.

Although I have never been married, I've discussed these things with my ex before about responsibilities and money. Inevitably, there was friction due to mismatched expectations. I was generally expected to do my 'fair' share of house-hold chores, as well as be the main bread-winner for the family, providing the family with shelter, food and care. The thing that caught me was when we could not agree upon a 'fair' way of paying for our future home. So, there was a lot of arguing, cajoling and negotiation before things were agreed upon. I still have this feeling that I got the short end of the stick. But since she's my 'ex' now, no biggie. Back to the article.

There's nothing wrong with women being more discerning. It's an evolutionary response. The female must carefully evaluate who is likely to remain loyal to her and protect and provide for her and her offspring. However, most women's discerning nature do not disappear. The most common pre-divorce scenario is one where the wife is unhappy with her husband, even though it could have so easily been the other way around. So, that either means that she's a great wife and he's a lousy husband, or she's far more critical of him than he is of her. It's naturally the latter.

Modern women today have careers and do not really need a man to provide for their care. This is a good thing as it gives them more choices and freedom in life. It also means that the family as a unit would benefit from dual income sources. Modern men understand this, and do not expect as much from their wives as they have in the past. They do not expect their wives to do all the household work as they understand that their wives have careers too. So, modern men are quite happy to help out at home. In response to this lowered expectation, women, being the weird creatures that they are, have raised their expectations of men. This is probably a result of their perceived higher bargaining position. However, it just doesn't quite make sense.

So, sometimes I wonder whether it's worth it to have a relationship that's so 'fair'. Over dinner a couple of months ago, a friend of mine expressed that women do not need men, while men need women. Since she's already married, maybe she knows more than I do. However, I did tell her that men do not 'need' wives either. Don't know if she believed me or not.

PS. To my female friends, please do not be offended by my remarks. No, actually, please do! Haha!

4 comments:

Dan said...

no need women. except for porn!

Anonymous said...

controversial sial...

Shawn Tan said...

huhu.. i hope you meant dan's comment and not my blog!!

Zen said...

http://www.qwantz.com/index.pl?comic=33

The two sexes certainly do have some hilarious differences!